The 2020 Issue
Welcome to the permanent record. Hoff's Heroes won the first one, which I'm choosing to read as the rest of you quietly, cowardly, probably-over-text agreeing to lose. I've represented Fortune 500 clients; I know collusion when I smell it, and 2020 reeked of eleven grown men playing not to embarrass themselves and failing anyway. Two Drews One Kupp finished dead last — a result so predictable I'd have staked my retainer on it. Frame this issue. It's the closest most of you will ever get to a trophy.
— The Commissioners · 2020
WHAT WE DO NOW
Hoff’s Heroes turns the key and ends the year at 6-7, hanging 2075 on the scoreboard, good for the 6th seed. Plus 140 in the differential column — enough margin that the bracket is less a dream than a formality. A 3-game stretch turns the stomach of everyone still pretending they can catch up.
Week 9 is the one they circle on the calendar: a 203-point afternoon that tells the rest of the room what ceiling looks like. They take their lumps too — a 98-point no-show in Week 6 that looks, in hindsight, like the only bad day on the whole schedule.
In the final, Hoff’s Heroes runs through Kansas City Clyde's Dales and carves Volume I into the wall. Let Dalvin Cook takes third and goes home with a handshake; Kansas City Clyde's Dales is left studying the plaque wall from the hallway. They came to business and they closed the case.
Runner-Up
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
StorminNorman84
3rd Place
Let Dalvin Cook
astelter
The starting lineup Hoff’s Heroes rode to the ring — championship-week scoring, in order.
Hoff’s Heroes
169.5 PTS
- Aaron Rodgers QB · PIT28.1
- Miles Sanders RB · FA17.4
- Josh Jacobs RB · GB6.9
- JuJu Smith-Schuster WR · FA23.6
- Mike Evans WR · SF40.1
- Noah Fant TE · NO15.5
- Brandon Aiyuk WR · SF4.1
- Evan Engram TE · DEN17.5
- DJ Moore WR · BUF8.7
- Teddy Bridgewater QB · FA7.6
Wild Card
Semifinals
Championship Round
Championship
3rd Place
Coach of the Year
Emerald City FC
79.6% lineup efficiency — just 532 points left on the bench all year.
The Unluckiest
Two Drews One Kupp
54–89 against the whole league but only 4 real wins — 2.0 games below expected.
Pickup of the Year
Logan Thomas
TE · FA — 182.7 starter pts for Brees Nuts after a Week 1 add.
| # | Team | W | L | PF |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Let Dalvin Cook | 9 | 4 | 2091.2 |
| 2 | Emerald City FC | 9 | 4 | 2076.8 |
| 3 | Kansas City Clyde's Dales | 8 | 5 | 2038.1 |
| 4 | Can’t Cut Ruggs | 8 | 5 | 2013.7 |
| 5 | Oh Saquon You See | 7 | 6 | 1879.0 |
| 6 | Hoff’s Heroes | 6 | 7 | 2075.1 |
| 7 | WesSco’s Taylor Swift | 6 | 7 | 1953.2 |
| 8 | jalenbarry | 6 | 7 | 1888.9 |
| 9 | Doses and Mimosas | 5 | 8 | 1960.2 |
| 10 | Brees Nuts | 5 | 8 | 1834.1 |
| 11 | COVID-12 | 5 | 8 | 1740.5 |
| 12 | Two Drews One Kupp | 4 | 9 | 1813.1 |
All-play = record if you'd played every other manager every week. Pythag = expected wins from points for/against. Positive delta = schedule-lucky; negative = schedule-screwed.
| Team | Actual | All-Play | Pythag Exp | Luck Δ |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Emerald City FC | 9-4 | 91-52 | 7.1 | +1.9 |
| Kansas City Clyde's Dales | 8-5 | 84-59 | 6.4 | +1.6 |
| Let Dalvin Cook | 9-4 | 93-50 | 7.4 | +1.6 |
| Can’t Cut Ruggs | 8-5 | 77-66 | 6.9 | +1.1 |
| jalenbarry | 6-7 | 64-79 | 5.7 | +0.3 |
| Oh Saquon You See | 7-6 | 66-77 | 7.2 | -0.2 |
| WesSco’s Taylor Swift | 6-7 | 72-71 | 6.3 | -0.3 |
| COVID-12 | 5-8 | 48-95 | 5.5 | -0.5 |
| Hoff’s Heroes | 6-7 | 83-60 | 7.0 | -1.0 |
| Doses and Mimosas | 5-8 | 74-69 | 6.3 | -1.3 |
| Brees Nuts | 5-8 | 52-91 | 6.4 | -1.4 |
| Two Drews One Kupp | 4-9 | 54-89 | 6.0 | -2.0 |
Every trade this season, in chronological order. Players received are listed under the team that got them. Draft picks traded are included.
Week 1
Jun 5, 2020
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- 2020 Round 2 (from COVID-12)
- 2020 Round 3 (from COVID-12)
COVID-12
Receives
- 2020 Round 1 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
- 2020 Round 6 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
Week 1
Jun 5, 2020
Brees Nuts
Receives
- 2020 Round 3 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
- 2020 Round 8 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2020 Round 4 (from Brees Nuts)
- 2020 Round 5 (from Brees Nuts)
- 2020 Round 7 (from Brees Nuts)
Week 1
Jun 6, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2020 Round 14 (from jalenbarry)
- 2020 Round 6 (from jalenbarry)
- 2020 Round 8 (from jalenbarry)
jalenbarry
Receives
- 2020 Round 12 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
- 2020 Round 4 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Week 1
Jun 6, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2020 Round 18 (from Doses and Mimosas)
- 2020 Round 2 (from Doses and Mimosas)
- 2020 Round 4 (from Doses and Mimosas)
Doses and Mimosas
Receives
- 2020 Round 1 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
- 2020 Round 14 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Week 1
Jun 6, 2020
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- 2020 Round 16 (from Two Drews One Kupp)
- 2020 Round 2 (from Two Drews One Kupp)
- 2020 Round 5 (from Two Drews One Kupp)
Two Drews One Kupp
Receives
- 2020 Round 2 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
- 2020 Round 14 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
- 2020 Round 5 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
Week 1
Jun 7, 2020
Emerald City FC
Receives
- 2020 Round 16 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
- 2020 Round 2 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
- 2020 Round 8 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- 2020 Round 18 (from Emerald City FC)
- 2020 Round 3 (from Emerald City FC)
- 2020 Round 4 (from Emerald City FC)
Week 1
Jun 7, 2020
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- 2020 Round 4 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
- 2020 Round 5 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2020 Round 3 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
- 2020 Round 7 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
Week 1
Jun 8, 2020
Oh Saquon You See
Receives
- 2020 Round 4 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
- 2020 Round 13 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- 2020 Round 6 (from Oh Saquon You See)
- 2020 Round 8 (from Oh Saquon You See)
Week 1
Jun 8, 2020
jalenbarry
Receives
- 2020 Round 10 (from Can’t Cut Ruggs)
- 2020 Round 4 (from Can’t Cut Ruggs)
- 2020 Round 5 (from Can’t Cut Ruggs)
Can’t Cut Ruggs
Receives
- 2020 Round 4 (from jalenbarry)
- 2020 Round 10 (from jalenbarry)
- 2020 Round 5 (from jalenbarry)
Week 1
Jun 8, 2020
Oh Saquon You See
Receives
- 2020 Round 5 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
- 2020 Round 15 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- 2020 Round 7 (from Oh Saquon You See)
- 2020 Round 9 (from Oh Saquon You See)
Week 1
Jun 8, 2020
Oh Saquon You See
Receives
- 2020 Round 6 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
- 2020 Round 8 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2020 Round 10 (from Oh Saquon You See)
- 2020 Round 5 (from Oh Saquon You See)
Week 1
Jun 8, 2020
Emerald City FC
Receives
- 2020 Round 12 (from Oh Saquon You See)
- 2020 Round 5 (from Oh Saquon You See)
Oh Saquon You See
Receives
- 2020 Round 7 (from Emerald City FC)
- 2020 Round 9 (from Emerald City FC)
Week 1
Jun 8, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2020 Round 6 (from Two Drews One Kupp)
Two Drews One Kupp
Receives
- 2021 Round 1 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Week 1
Jun 8, 2020
Brees Nuts
Receives
- 2020 Round 5 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
- 2020 Round 17 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- 2020 Round 6 (from Brees Nuts)
- 2020 Round 8 (from Brees Nuts)
Week 1
Jun 9, 2020
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- 2020 Round 7 (from Two Drews One Kupp)
- 2020 Round 8 (from Two Drews One Kupp)
Two Drews One Kupp
Receives
- 2020 Round 7 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
- 2020 Round 9 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
Week 1
Jun 9, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2020 Round 9 (from Can’t Cut Ruggs)
Can’t Cut Ruggs
Receives
- 2020 Round 10 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
- 2020 Round 13 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Week 1
Jun 9, 2020
Doses and Mimosas
Receives
- 2020 Round 10 (from Let Dalvin Cook)
- 2020 Round 16 (from Let Dalvin Cook)
Let Dalvin Cook
Receives
- 2020 Round 14 (from Doses and Mimosas)
- 2020 Round 12 (from Doses and Mimosas)
- 2021 Round 3 (from Doses and Mimosas)
- 2021 Round 4 (from Doses and Mimosas)
Week 1
Jun 9, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2020 Round 13 (from COVID-12)
- 2020 Round 9 (from COVID-12)
COVID-12
Receives
- 2020 Round 10 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
- 2020 Round 11 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
- 2021 Round 4 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Week 1
Jun 9, 2020
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Receives
- 2020 Round 15 (from Let Dalvin Cook)
- 2020 Round 9 (from Let Dalvin Cook)
Let Dalvin Cook
Receives
- 2020 Round 9 (from Kansas City Clyde's Dales)
Week 1
Jun 10, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2020 Round 10 (from Can’t Cut Ruggs)
- 2020 Round 10 (from Can’t Cut Ruggs)
Can’t Cut Ruggs
Receives
- 2020 Round 9 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Week 1
Jun 10, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2020 Round 12 (from Two Drews One Kupp)
Two Drews One Kupp
Receives
- 2020 Round 13 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
- 2020 Round 14 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Week 1
Jun 11, 2020
Brees Nuts
Receives
- 2021 Round 2 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
- 2020 Round 18 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2020 Round 15 (from Brees Nuts)
Week 1
Jun 11, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2020 Round 16 (from Kansas City Clyde's Dales)
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Receives
- 2020 Round 18 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
- 2020 Round 20 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Week 1
Jun 12, 2020
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- 2020 Round 14 (from Two Drews One Kupp)
Two Drews One Kupp
Receives
- 2020 Round 18 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
- 2020 Round 16 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
- 2020 Round 21 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
Week 1
Jun 12, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2020 Round 18 (from Let Dalvin Cook)
Let Dalvin Cook
Receives
- 2020 Round 19 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
- 2020 Round 22 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
- 2020 Round 24 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Week 1
Jun 13, 2020
Oh Saquon You See
Receives
- 2020 Round 19 (from Kansas City Clyde's Dales)
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Receives
- 2020 Round 20 (from Oh Saquon You See)
- 2020 Round 22 (from Oh Saquon You See)
Week 1
Jun 16, 2020
Emerald City FC
Receives
- 2020 Round 3 (from Brees Nuts)
Brees Nuts
Receives
- 2021 Round 3 (from Emerald City FC)
- 2020 Round 3 (from Emerald City FC)
Week 1
Jun 17, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2020 Round 5 (from Can’t Cut Ruggs)
Can’t Cut Ruggs
Receives
- Brian Hoyer QB · FA
- 2021 Round 3 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Week 1
Jun 17, 2020
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- 2020 Round 4 (from Can’t Cut Ruggs)
Can’t Cut Ruggs
Receives
- 2021 Round 2 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
- 2021 Round 5 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
Week 1
Jun 17, 2020
Brees Nuts
Receives
- 2021 Round 2 (from jalenbarry)
- 2021 Round 3 (from jalenbarry)
jalenbarry
Receives
- 2020 Round 5 (from Brees Nuts)
Week 1
Jun 18, 2020
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- 2021 Round 2 (from Doses and Mimosas)
- $12 FAAB (from Doses and Mimosas)
Doses and Mimosas
Receives
- 2020 Round 5 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
Week 1
Jun 18, 2020
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- $12 FAAB (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- $12 FAAB (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
Week 1
Jun 18, 2020
Oh Saquon You See
Receives
- 2020 Round 5 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2021 Round 2 (from Oh Saquon You See)
- $16 FAAB (from Oh Saquon You See)
Week 1
Sep 13, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- James Robinson RB · FA
- 2022 Round 4 (from jalenbarry)
jalenbarry
Receives
- Eric Ebron TE · PIT
- 2022 Round 2 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Week 2
Sep 21, 2020
Oh Saquon You See
Receives
- Devonta Freeman RB · FA
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Receives
- Jordan Howard RB · FA
Week 3
Sep 25, 2020
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Receives
- William Fuller WR · FA
- Chase Claypool WR · FA
Let Dalvin Cook
Receives
- James Conner RB · ARI
Week 3
Sep 30, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- Josh Jacobs RB · GB
Can’t Cut Ruggs
Receives
- Kirk Cousins QB · LV
- Joe Mixon RB · FA
Week 7
Oct 27, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- Brandon Aiyuk WR · SF
- 2021 Round 2 (from Let Dalvin Cook)
- 2021 Round 3 (from Let Dalvin Cook)
Let Dalvin Cook
Receives
- Robert Woods WR · FA
Week 7
Nov 1, 2020
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- 2021 Round 4 (from Can’t Cut Ruggs)
Can’t Cut Ruggs
Receives
- Wayne Gallman RB · FA
Week 10
Nov 13, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- 2021 Round 4 (from Kansas City Clyde's Dales)
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Receives
- Adrian Peterson RB · FA
Week 10
Nov 15, 2020
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- Jimmy Garoppolo QB · FA
COVID-12
Receives
- Sam Darnold QB · SEA
Week 11
Nov 21, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- Julio Jones WR · FA
- 2021 Round 5 (from Two Drews One Kupp)
Two Drews One Kupp
Receives
- Cam Newton QB · FA
- Darnell Mooney WR · NYG
Week 12
Dec 2, 2020
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- Nick Mullens QB · JAX
Two Drews One Kupp
Receives
- Kendrick Bourne WR · ARI
- 2022 Round 4 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
Week 13
Dec 3, 2020
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Receives
- Le'Veon Bell RB · FA
- Gardner Minshew QB · ARI
- 2021 Round 3 (from Let Dalvin Cook)
Let Dalvin Cook
Receives
- Derek Carr QB · FA
Week 14
Dec 13, 2020
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- 2021 Round 2 (from Can’t Cut Ruggs)
Can’t Cut Ruggs
Receives
- J.D. McKissic RB · FA
- 2021 Round 3 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
Week 15
Dec 17, 2020
Oh Saquon You See
Receives
- 2021 Round 3 (from Kansas City Clyde's Dales)
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Receives
- Mike Davis RB · FA
Week 15
Dec 18, 2020
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- Wayne Gallman RB · FA
Can’t Cut Ruggs
Receives
- 2021 Round 4 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Week 16
Dec 27, 2020
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Receives
- Tua Tagovailoa QB · ATL
- James Robinson RB · FA
- 2021 Round 3 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- Teddy Bridgewater QB · FA
- DJ Moore WR · BUF
- 2021 Round 2 (from WesSco’s Taylor Swift)
Week 16
Feb 20, 2021
Hoff’s Heroes
Receives
- Leonard Fournette RB · FA
jalenbarry
Receives
- Nyheim Miller-Hines RB · FA
- N'Keal Harry TE · FA
- 2021 Round 2 (from Hoff’s Heroes)
Every pick. DB selections were the league's placeholder for devy picks and are flagged accordingly — they don't represent actual defensive-back draftees.
Round 1
Clyde Edwards-Helaire
RB · KC
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Joe Burrow
QB · CIN
Brees Nuts
Jonathan Taylor
RB · IND
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
J.K. Dobbins
RB · BAL
jalenbarry
Trevor Lawrence
DevyQB · Clemson
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
D'Andre Swift
RB · DET
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Justin Fields
DevyQB · Ohio State
Oh Saquon You See
Cam Akers
RB · LAR
Emerald City FC
Travis Etienne
DevyRB · Clemson
Emerald City FC
Tua Tagovailoa
QB · MIA
Hoff’s Heroes
CeeDee Lamb
WR · DAL
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Jerry Jeudy
WR · DEN
Hoff’s Heroes
Round 2
Ja'Marr Chase
DevyWR · LSU
Doses and Mimosas
Chuba Hubbard
DevyRB · Oklahoma State
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Justin Jefferson
WR · MIN
Emerald City FC
Henry Ruggs III
WR · LV
Can’t Cut Ruggs
Justin Herbert
QB · LAC
Oh Saquon You See
Najee Harris
DevyRB · Alabama
Hoff’s Heroes
Jalen Reagor
WR · PHI
jalenbarry
Rondale Moore
DevyWR · Purdue
Doses and Mimosas
Rashod Bateman
DevyWR · Minnesota
jalenbarry
Tee Higgins
WR · CIN
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Jaylen Waddle
DevyWR · Alabama
jalenbarry
Ke'Shawn Vaughn
RB · TB
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Round 3
Michael Pittman Jr.
WR · IND
Emerald City FC
Journey Brown
DevyRB · Penn State
Emerald City FC
Denzel Mims
WR · NYJ
Oh Saquon You See
Max Borghi
DevyRB · Washington State
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Brandon Aiyuk
WR · SF
Let Dalvin Cook
DeVonta Smith
DevyWR · Alabama
COVID-12
Antonio Gibson
RB · WAS
Brees Nuts
Sam Howell
DevyQB · North Carolina
Can’t Cut Ruggs
A.J. Dillon
RB · GB
Hoff’s Heroes
Zack Moss
RB · BUF
Emerald City FC
Jamie Newman
DevyQB · Georgia
COVID-12
Tamorrion Terry
DevyWR · Florida State
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Round 4
George Pickens
DevyWR · Georgia
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Seth Williams
DevyWR · Auburn
Doses and Mimosas
Isaiah Spiller
DevyRB · Texas A&M
Hoff’s Heroes
DJ Uiagalelei
DevyQB · Clemson
Emerald City FC
Trey Lance
DevyQB · North Dakota State
Emerald City FC
Garrett Wilson
DevyWR · Ohio State
Oh Saquon You See
Bryan Edwards
WR · LV
WesSco’s Taylor Swift
Spencer Rattler
DevyQB · Oklahoma
Oh Saquon You See
Jordan Love
QB · GB
Hoff’s Heroes
Darrynton Evans
RB · TEN
Emerald City FC
Devin Duvernay
WR · BAL
Brees Nuts
Kylin Hill
DevyRB · Mississippi State
COVID-12
Round 5
Laviska Shenault Jr.
WR · JAX
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Tylan Wallace
DevyWR · Oklahoma State
Doses and Mimosas
Breece Hall
DevyRB · Iowa State
jalenbarry
Zamir White
DevyRB · Georgia
Hoff’s Heroes
Amon-Ra St. Brown
DevyWR · USC
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Kenneth Gainwell
DevyRB · Memphis
Doses and Mimosas
Jalen Hurts
QB · PHI
Kansas City Clyde's Dales
Bryce Young
DevyQB · Alabama
Oh Saquon You See
Kyle Pitts
DevyTE · Florida
Can’t Cut Ruggs
Julian Fleming
DevyWR · Ohio State
Oh Saquon You See
Cole Kmet
TE · CHI
Oh Saquon You See
Zach Charbonnet
DevyRB · Michigan
Let Dalvin Cook
All-time BAMFDL marks that still belong to 2020 — set here, unbroken since.
The Belichick
24
Most Trades in a Season
Hoff’s Heroes