Volume V · 2024

The 2024 Issue

By The Archive · Season 2024 · 12 Franchises

Commissioner’s Note

In a verdict no honest court would permit, Taylor Swift's Boutte went from last place and a public sandwich to champion in a single calendar year. That is not a redemption arc, that is evidence of tampering, and I have opened a file. ndmartin88 inherited the last-place crown, proving the one constant in this league is that somebody is always humiliating themselves on my behalf, free of charge. I did not win, which means the season was rigged. Next.

— The Commissioners · 2024

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑 Runs the Numbers

CROWN OF POINTS

By The Archive · 2024 Season

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑 reports to camp and ends the year at 12-2, banking a league-best 2527 points of offense, good for the 1st seed. The point differential reads like a stapler slammed on the desk — plus 696 across the slate, and nobody else is really close. A 8-game run in the middle months quiets the room.

The signature moment is Week 8, when the lineup detonates 246 — the single biggest number posted by anyone in the league all year. ndmartin88 catches the worst of it in Week 14, buried by 140 in the league's most lopsided afternoon. The luck table tilts their way: +2.8 wins above what the points alone say they deserve. The bracket cares less about math than moments.

In the final, Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑 runs through Jcrunk’s QB Factory and carves Volume V into the wall. jalenbarry takes third and goes home with a handshake; Jcrunk’s QB Factory is left studying the plaque wall from the hallway. They came to business and they closed the case.

Runner-Up

Jcrunk’s QB Factory

Jcrunk25

3rd Place

jalenbarry

The Title Lineup

The starting lineup Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑 rode to the ring — championship-week scoring, in order.

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

193.1 PTS

Bo Nix QB · DEN23.9
Joe Mixon RB · FA5.9
Jonathan Taylor RB · IND27.6
DJ Moore WR · BUF12.2
Ja'Marr Chase WR · CIN19.2
George Kittle TE · SF23.2
A.J. Brown WR · NE12.6
Malik Nabers WR · NYG36.1
Terry McLaurin WR · WAS1.5
Isaac Guerendo RB · SF13.9
Kyler Murray QB · MIN17.0

The Bracket · How It Was Won

Wild Card

Im not Kirk-umcised134.0

Aim for the bushes ✦220.0

HUlu has live spoRTS111.8

jalenbarry ✦137.4

Semifinals

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑 ✦212.6

Aim for the bushes150.8

Jcrunk’s QB Factory ✦223.8

jalenbarry201.1

Championship Round

Championship

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑 ✦193.1

Jcrunk’s QB Factory185.8

3rd Place

Aim for the bushes130.6

jalenbarry ✦180.0

246.1Highest Week · W8 · Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

53.5Lowest Week · W17 · HUlu has live spoRTS

140.4Biggest Blowout · W14 · Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

10Most Trades · Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Season Awards

Coach of the Year

Aim for the bushes

80.4% lineup efficiency — just 505 points left on the bench all year.

The Unluckiest

ndmartin88

23–131 against the whole league but only 0 real wins — 4.6 games below expected.

Pickup of the Year

Cooper Rush

QB · FA — 101.4 starter pts for JordanCasteel3 after a Week 10 add.

Final Standings

#	Team	Manager	W	L	PF	PA	Trades
1	Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑	BeeSco	12	2	2527.0	1831.0	10
2	Jcrunk’s QB Factory	Jcrunk25	10	4	2460.9	2190.9	0
3	jalenbarry	jalenbarry	10	4	2411.6	2060.5	2
4	Im not Kirk-umcised	TMeek15	10	4	2089.4	1803.9	2
5	Aim for the bushes	KCScorgasm	9	5	2067.3	2149.7	1
6	57th Founding Father	emmz5d	8	6	1923.6	1940.9	3
7	HUlu has live spoRTS	StorminNorman84	6	8	2063.0	2106.9	4
8	Let Dalvin Cook🍳	astelter	5	9	1988.4	2088.3	0
9	TE City	Westy19	5	9	1813.6	2004.7	7
10	JordanCasteel3	JordanCasteel3	5	9	1611.8	1996.9	2
11	Emerald City FC	andrewldalton	4	10	1889.7	2018.3	2
12	ndmartin88	ndmartin88	0	14	1514.4	2168.7	3

Schedule Luck & Expected Wins

All-play = record if you'd played every other manager every week. Pythag = expected wins from points for/against. Positive delta = schedule-lucky; negative = schedule-screwed.

Team	Actual	All-Play	Pythag Exp	Luck Δ
Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑	12-2	125-29	9.2	+2.8
Aim for the bushes	9-5	82-72	6.7	+2.3
Jcrunk’s QB Factory	10-4	122-32	7.8	+2.2
Im not Kirk-umcised	10-4	84-70	8.0	+2.0
jalenbarry	10-4	116-38	8.1	+1.9
57th Founding Father	8-6	65-89	6.9	+1.1
JordanCasteel3	5-9	37-117	5.5	-0.5
HUlu has live spoRTS	6-8	79-75	6.9	-0.9
TE City	5-9	55-99	6.3	-1.3
Let Dalvin Cook🍳	5-9	74-80	6.7	-1.7
Emerald City FC	4-10	62-92	6.5	-2.5
ndmartin88	0-14	23-131	4.6	-4.6

Trades · 18 on Record

Every trade this season, in chronological order. Players received are listed under the team that got them. Draft picks traded are included.

Week 1

Apr 29, 2024

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Receives

Jaylen Waddle WR · DEN
2024 Round 4 (from jalenbarry)
2024 Round 1 (from jalenbarry)
2024 Round 3 (from jalenbarry)

jalenbarry

Receives

2024 Round 1 (from Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑)
2024 Round 3 (from Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑)

Week 1

Apr 29, 2024

HUlu has live spoRTS

Receives

Chuba Hubbard RB · CAR

TE City

Receives

Darnell Mooney WR · NYG

Week 1

Apr 30, 2024

ndmartin88

Receives

Marquise Brown WR · PHI
2024 Round 1 (from Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑)
2024 Round 4 (from Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑)
2024 Round 3 (from Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑)

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Receives

2024 Round 5 (from ndmartin88)
2024 Round 1 (from ndmartin88)
2024 Round 3 (from ndmartin88)

Week 1

Apr 30, 2024

ndmartin88

Receives

Hunter Henry TE · NE
Joshua Kelley RB · FA
Trevor Lawrence QB · JAX
Michael Wilson WR · ARI

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Receives

Ja'Marr Chase WR · CIN
2024 Round 4 (from ndmartin88)
2024 Round 1 (from ndmartin88)

Week 1

May 1, 2024

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Receives

Jarrett Stidham QB · DEN
2024 Round 4 (from TE City)

TE City

Receives

Mike Gesicki TE · CIN
Keaton Mitchell RB · LAC

Week 1

May 2, 2024

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Receives

2024 Round 4 (from HUlu has live spoRTS)
2025 Round 3 (from HUlu has live spoRTS)

HUlu has live spoRTS

Receives

2024 Round 4 (from Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑)

Week 1

May 3, 2024

Aim for the bushes

Receives

— nothing —

57th Founding Father

Receives

2024 Round 5 (from Aim for the bushes)

Week 1

May 3, 2024

Im not Kirk-umcised

Receives

2024 Round 5 (from TE City)
2024 Round 5 (from TE City)

TE City

Receives

Gabe Davis WR · FA

Week 1

May 3, 2024

Im not Kirk-umcised

Receives

2024 Round 5 (from 57th Founding Father)

57th Founding Father

Receives

2025 Round 4 (from Im not Kirk-umcised)

Week 1

May 7, 2024

ndmartin88

Receives

Justyn Ross WR · FA

TE City

Receives

2025 Round 3 (from ndmartin88)

Week 1

May 23, 2024

HUlu has live spoRTS

Receives

Evan Engram TE · DEN
Jahan Dotson WR · ATL

57th Founding Father

Receives

Tee Higgins WR · CIN

Week 1

Jul 31, 2024

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Receives

George Kittle TE · SF
Darnell Mooney WR · NYG
2025 Round 3 (from TE City)

TE City

Receives

Robert Tonyan TE · PIT
T.J. Hockenson TE · MIN
2025 Round 5 (from Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑)

Week 1

Sep 2, 2024

Emerald City FC

Receives

Skylar Thompson QB · BAL

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Receives

Clayton Tune QB · FA

Week 5

Oct 8, 2024

JordanCasteel3

Receives

Anthony Richardson QB · IND
Tucker Kraft TE · GB

TE City

Receives

Joe Burrow QB · CIN
Kyle Pitts TE · ATL

Week 6

Oct 13, 2024

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Receives

Kirk Cousins QB · LV
Joe Mixon RB · FA
A.J. Brown WR · NE
2025 Round 4 (from JordanCasteel3)

JordanCasteel3

Receives

Jayden Reed WR · GB
Braelon Allen RB · NYJ
Ladd McConkey WR · LAC
2025 Round 2 (from Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑)

Week 12

Nov 20, 2024

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Receives

Taysom Hill TE · FA
Terry McLaurin WR · WAS

HUlu has live spoRTS

Receives

Jameis Winston QB · NYG
Jaylen Waddle WR · DEN

Week 15

Dec 12, 2024

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Receives

Nick Chubb RB · FA

TE City

Receives

Travis Homer RB · PIT
2025 Round 3 (from Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑)

Week 15

Dec 13, 2024

Emerald City FC

Receives

2026 Round 1 (from jalenbarry)

jalenbarry

Receives

Tyreek Hill WR · FA

Draft · 5 Rounds

Every pick. DB selections were the league's placeholder for devy picks and are flagged accordingly — they don't represent actual defensive-back draftees.

Round 1

Jayden Daniels

QB · WAS

jalenbarry

JJ McCarthy

QB · MIN

JordanCasteel3

Brian Thomas

WR · JAX

Jcrunk’s QB Factory

Keon Coleman

WR · BUF

TE City

Jonathon Brooks

RB · CAR

HUlu has live spoRTS

Trey Benson

RB · ARI

Let Dalvin Cook🍳

Ladd McConkey

WR · LAC

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Bo Nix

QB · DEN

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Adonai Mitchell

WR · IND

ndmartin88

Ollie Gordon II

Devy

RB · Oklahoma State

57th Founding Father

Shedeur Sanders

Devy

QB · Colorado

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Xavier Legette

WR · CAR

Aim for the bushes

Round 2

Ricky Pearsall

WR · SF

TE City

Devontez Walker

WR · BAL

JordanCasteel3

Roman Wilson

WR · PIT

Jcrunk’s QB Factory

Omarion Hampton

Devy

RB · North Carolina

Jcrunk’s QB Factory

Jaylen Wright

RB · MIA

HUlu has live spoRTS

Ashton Jeanty

Devy

RB · Boise State

Let Dalvin Cook🍳

MarShawn Lloyd

RB · GB

jalenbarry

Ja'Lynn Polk

WR · NE

ndmartin88

Jeremiah Smith

Devy

WR · Ohio State

jalenbarry

Carson Beck

Devy

QB · Georgia

57th Founding Father

Bucky Irving

RB · TB

JordanCasteel3

Isaiah Bond

Devy

WR · Texas

57th Founding Father

Round 3

Colston Loveland

Devy

TE · Michigan

TE City

Eugene Wilson

Devy

WR · Florida

JordanCasteel3

Tre Harris

Devy

WR · Ole Miss

TE City

Malachi Corley

WR · NYJ

TE City

Luke McCaffrey

WR · WAS

ndmartin88

Jalen McMillan

WR · TB

Let Dalvin Cook🍳

DJ Lagway

Devy

QB · Florida

jalenbarry

Conner Weigman

Devy

QB · Texas A&M

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Jaydn Ott

Devy

RB · California

Emerald City FC

Ray Davis

RB · BUF

57th Founding Father

Aidan Chiles

Devy

QB · Michigan State

JordanCasteel3

Micah Hudson

Devy

WR · Texas Tech

jalenbarry

Round 4

Jalen Milroe

Devy

QB · Alabama

TE City

Avery Johnson

Devy

QB · Kansas State

JordanCasteel3

Ben Sinnott

TE · WAS

HUlu has live spoRTS

Audric Estime

RB · DEN

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Dylan Laube

RB · LV

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Cody Schrader

RB · SF

Let Dalvin Cook🍳

Javon Baker

WR · NE

Jcrunk’s QB Factory

Cam Coleman

Devy

WR · Auburn

ndmartin88

Jackson Arnold

Devy

QB · Oklahoma

ndmartin88

Kimani Vidal

RB · LAC

57th Founding Father

Brenden Rice

WR · LAC

TE City

Tyrone Tracy

RB · NYG

Jcrunk’s QB Factory

Round 5

Isaac Guerendo

RB · SF

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Theo Johnson

TE · NYG

JordanCasteel3

Brandon Inniss

Devy

WR · Ohio State

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

Kaytron Allen

Devy

RB · Penn State

Im not Kirk-umcised

Eugene Wilson

Devy

WR · Florida

HUlu has live spoRTS

Jared Wiley

TE · KC

Let Dalvin Cook🍳

Jacob Cowing

WR · SF

jalenbarry

Erick All

TE · CIN

57th Founding Father

Jordan Travis

QB · NYJ

TE City

Louis Rees-Zammit

RB · KC

Im not Kirk-umcised

Julian Sayin

Devy

QB · Ohio State

Im not Kirk-umcised

Kaleb Jackson

Devy

RB · LSU

Im not Kirk-umcised

Records Set This Season

All-time BAMFDL marks that still belong to 2024 — set here, unbroken since.

The Crater

53.5

Lowest Single-Week Score

HUlu has live spoRTS

The Thunderdome

2527.0

Most Points in a Regular Season

Taylor Swift’s Boutte 🍑

The Sandwich

0-14

Worst Regular-Season Record

ndmartin88

The Freefall

14 in a row

Longest Losing Streak (Season)

ndmartin88

The Shambles

88.2

Lowest-Scoring Win

JordanCasteel3

The Snakebit

-4.6 W

Most Schedule-Unlucky Season

ndmartin88

See the full Records Room →